i've decided that its annoying and makes me a less desirable person to be around or associate with.

actually i should clarify that.

i'm not going to stop thinking. and i'm not going to change in order to make people like me more.

what i am going to do is stop sitting alone and thinking SO much. and i'm going to start thinking more when i'm talking and acting.

and i'm actually doing this so i like me more. and if i like me more fuck you if you don't like me you know. because you're obviously insane or something.

okay enough of my self-improvement/self-empowering speech thing.

my older sister is in town. i thought about it and realized i haven't seen her since like christmas of 2001. so so strange. yet it wasn't strange at all to be hanging out with her and ali. actually it was like before but better because we're all a little older, and more mature in lots of ways. so we can still be silly and childish i guess. but we're sisters and thats okay to do. but it was fun. and there's not the hostility we used to have. thats the nicest thing. i think thats because of the maturing and not being around each other constantly.

anyways. i've been a little unsure of a few things lately. none that i'll share publicly in order to spare you from melodrama and my constantly wavering thoughts. but i'm still unsure of them. i suck at being stable. try to avoid depending on me. just don't tell me you are. it might make me sad that you don't think i'm dependable. (so strange i know)

so i'm going to go look over art for tomorrow. maybe be social. and be ready for bed by 11. 11:30 at the latest i swear. go me and my ambition.

so off i go to avoid this despair inducing habit.

-kat

ps-if you are bored i have lots of clothes you can come wash for me :)