2 more days. perhaps i'll not flip out. and be a ninja on my parents. hehe. just kidding. anyway. they've gotten progressively worse today from last night. aaaand i can say i am completely ready to move back to chico. almost ready to pack up and live in my car out front till they let me in. well not quite...but we're getting there.

today i didn't make it to chico as i realized that it being a holiday and all the bank wouldn't be open and there wouldn't be too many managers at work. perhaps. anyways. tuesday just seemed like a better choice. so tomorrow i'll be up bright and early. i'm meeting leeann in el chico at 9:30. so up BRIGHT and early manana.

other than my parents making me want home in chico, tonight was a pretty good night. i talked to kevin briefly and i haven't for a while so that was good. and i had an interesting convo with jordan that i'm proud of em for. and a nice long talk with my lovely leeann that hasn't happened for a while and it needed to. and now i'm talking to ian and cory and and james online. and its great. haha. i dont know why.

so today i was getting way worked up about a lot of stuff. and overdramatizing things like i always always do. damn me and my overanalyzation.

anyway, later i watched a good movie and just didn't think about that for a while. and now i'm feeling much better. i just need to remind my self occasionally that these little things i get so wrapped up in aren't the center of my life or the focus. and that theres a lot more to worry about and live for.

and besides. i've decided to come to terms for the evening with the fact that i'm just kind of a failure in the relationship and emotion department. i don't think i should be giving anyone any help or advice in that area. cause nothing has worked for me. so maybe i'll just be giving bad advice.

either way i've realized i tend to always like guys who don't like me, just want to "have fun", or are unavailable, and the guys that tend to start liking me are the ones that i just don't have feelings for. sometimes i just like to forget about emotions for a while. when i can.

now i'm goin to sleep. tomorrow going to chico. checking account! with the $700 in my waller. w00t.

this entry is over. shoulda been over a while ago. nite