strange dreams
i need to sleep more. today sara came to check if i was awake before class and as usual i was not. i climbed out of bed, dressed, and walked to class. throughout class i struggled to keep my eyes open and attempt to be vaguely interested in what was being said by our professors. a little before 12, we had our second break, and dannielle, sara, and I (it seems they felt just as i did) left. we came home, ate lunch, and I went back to sleep a short time thereafter. and i slept until 5:00. in the course of this sleeping i had a series of strange dreams. namely ones where I was living in dorms similar to shango, except they were much brighter in color scheme and lighting, and there were always many random people wandering. in my dream, everyone brought home a few people everyday, and so there were always people in my room and other people's rooms that i had never seen before but it was okay. the strangest part of my dream was when me and a few girls, who strangely resembled a few of my sisters friends and a certain girl from my gst class, wanted to go to the BMU. it was a little different than ours, and there was something going on with these bodybuilders. some kind of "show." perhaps. there were newscasters there and they saw us and asked one of the bodybuilders to pose for pictures with us and we agreed. this is where it gets quite odd. they had us lie down in a stack, facing up, and he laid on top of us. i was on the top of the stack and started to feel uncomfortable...and i noticed there was a man standing next to us, wearing sunglasses, a suit, and keeping a very close watch over the bodybuilder. the longer the guy laid on top of us, the more lewd and sweaty he got. he started to grope us, and smell us, and i remember him telling me i smelled good but they smelled bad so we should go somewhere alone. i started to cry, but no one did anything. the man in the suit began to look uncomfortable and the newcaster and his cameramen were suddenly gone. the bodybuilder pressed down on us harder and the girls beneath me were giggling. then started to get up and grabbed me in his fist, except my entire body fit in his fist and he picked me right up. i only remember thinking his fist is so big...the next thing i remember after that, i was sitting on my bed in the dorms and suddenly remembered what had happened. I began to cry and steff came in and asked what was wrong. i just hugged her and cried more. then the other girls who had been with me walked by my door and came in. i reached out and hugged them too. they looked at me crying and looked at each other with faces like i was insane. then they said they had to go and steff left to. i just sat on my bed alone and cried...then it progressed into another strange dream.....
i don't know if there was any meaning in that, it was just really creepy and bizarre, and i feel like i shouldn't have slept so long during the day. i think i'll go to bed earlier tonight and get back on a regular schedule. for now i'm going to clean my room because i'm very disappointed in how messy it has become.
music: Death Cab For Cutie-Styrofoam Plates
mood: at sea
Tuesday, Nov. 19, 2002
5:48 p.m.
5:48 p.m.