Something I can hold

cause it�s getting cold

Come for the week, you can sleep in my bed

And pass through my life like a dream through my head

It will be easy

I'll make it easy

confusion and despair. why do i feel so cliche. why do we have emotions that are worthless.

i dreamt of a fever,

one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart.

with heat to melt these frozen tears and burned with reasons

as to carry on.

into these twisted months i plunge without a light to follow

but i swear that i would follow anything

if it would just get me out of here.

if i could stop myself from feeling. stop my feeling from its constant fluctuations. (life would be less this) why are there judgements. i've heard so much of people making the wrong judgement of someone and finding out they were actually a nicer/better/more open person than originally thought but i've rarely heard tales told of someone judging another to be someone amazing and and great. not quite a judgement...an interpretation or certain thoughts/actions/suggestions. only to find this is an image. an image thats much further from the truth than originally conceived. disappointment ensues.

a someone told me once that emotions aren't real. or at least aren't real to the extent that we give them credit for being real. i think emotions are are just the way you conceive certain feelings. perhaps everyone conceives them differently and what each of us thinks of as like and love is completely different from someone else's perception. so if this was true. then emotions have no real basis. my feelings are just random perceptions which would explain them changing so often.

or perhaps emotion is real. so much of my life is based on emotion. its too much to take sometimes. i need a balance. i need you to remember to remind me to remind myself to forget that you forget about me.

The melancholic Personality: the introvert, the thinker, the pessimist.

you are deep, thoughtful, and analytical. you are both serious and purposeful and are prone to genius. you are talented and creative with an artistic or musical learning. you can be both philosophical and poetic. you have a good appreciation of beauty. you are sensitive to others and can be self-sacrificing, conscientious and idealistic.

you set high standards and want everything done right. you will sacrifice you own will for others and you encourage scholarship and talent.

As a perfectionist you set high standards and are always conscious of details.

you make friends cautiously, are content to stay in the background and you avoid attracting attention. you are faithful and devoted and will listen to complaints. you can solve other's problems, have a deep concern for other people and are often moved to TEARS with compassion. You are Seeking your Ideal Mate.

you can be moody and depressed often remembering the negatives. you enjoy being hurt and have false humility. you have a low self-image and suffer from selective hearing. you are introspective and often in another world. you have guilt feelings, a persecution complex and tend towards hypochondria.

you are hesitant to start projects, spend too much time planning, and you prefer analysis to work. you are self-deprecating and often set your standards too high. you have a Deep Need for ApprovaL.

you live through Others, and are insecure socially and are often withdrawn and remote. you are critical of others and hold back affection. you are full of contradictions and sceptical of compliments.

i took the Eysenck personality test for class and i was the melancholic personality. take what you want from that. analysis can be full of generalization but many of these generalizations are personal to me. odd.

i'm thinking a lot of things right now. but i said most of them to sara. and its late and i haven't slept all week. i need to be well rested so i can fully enjoy benjamin tomorrow evening. ooolala. you know you're jealous.

music: Bright Eyes: No Lies, Just Love

mood: analytical.melancholy.anxious