just say how to make this right, and i swear i'll do my best to comply
last night was weird scary dream number 3. i never wrote out number one, but the basic gist of it was that i was scared to death that i had AIDS because these crazy russians shat all over the bathroom. there was more to it, but thats what made it creepy. last night, my dream was mostly just very strange. my rabbit was in it a lot, as i took her everywhere, at one point i was driving down the road in this truck, and i guess she jumped or fell out the window, and then either bounced into the truck behind me, or they stopped and picked her up, so i looked in the rearview window and saw her, and thought if i pulled over, they would too, and give her back, but then they pulled off on an exit, so i drove in front of all these people to get off at the next one, and i was at some lake, and the "ranger" there "on duty" happened to be ginger holzaphel, my horseback riding instructor from 4-H. and suddenly i was riding Rocky, one of our old horses, and he was being sorta jumpy and not listening to me, and she kept telling me what to do, and i kept saying it was just that we hadn't ridden him in so long. so i told her about my rabbit, and if she saw it, could she give me a call. she said she would, and i went to get on my horse again, and i couldn't move. like standing up and walking were the hardest possible things to do. i was putting all of my effort into it, and wasn't getting anywhere. and i was crying and really upset, and people kept yelling at me to stop whining and being a baby, and to stop being silly. i guess i got out of there, but later, i was lying in my bed at home, and my mom and dad were yelling at me to get up and get to school on time, and i couldn't move again. and i was crying and trying to explain to them that it was impossible, but they didn't believe me, and kept yelling at me to get up. it was quite awful and traumatic. so i felt pretty exhausted when i woke up, having been trying to hard to move in my dreams, and being so upset the whole time.
so anyway, today i am at work, and i feel a little better now than i did when i woke up. i need to find a way to feel better when i wake up, and a way to have more energy. because really, it seems like lately the hardest thing i do is get out of bed and get ready to go somewhere. but i got here today, and i feel tired and in a haze, but not too awful. i need to go buy juice and drink lots and lots of it. i hope you're having fine days. i think i'll go buy that juice and a hot dog and vote. and then read about bob dylan. want to know something silly? i was surprised to learn that he's still alive. i guess i'd never really thought about it, but he always just seemed like one of those things thats past and gone. but no. he's still hanging out. that's good to know i guess.
i don't know about anything going on tonight, since its tuesday, but i have to catch up on some homework still. let me know if anyone's doing anything fun tonight.
xo-kt
12:59 p.m.