today is sunny, sunny is nice. but there's still a chill in my bones. there's just something i'm not doing right, something i'm trying to ignore. i can't quite figure out what it is, but its just waiting to get a good grasp on my ankles and pull. pull me down, under, away. at least thats what i'm getting from slight feeling thats making my stomach start to churn and my mind to lose its focus. its just that much harder to get up each morning, and to go to bed at night. i just need to determine what in my life is causing this, and deal with it. face it.

so i'm going to work on finding that. because this semester i will do well, am doing well. i will fight it and i will win and i will be stable. i promise.

xo-kt

4:40pm

so no, i never sing posts. devlin does. but then again, he also uses words like "wunderlick." fake words i mean. i'm at work. and i'm arranging photographs into a photoalbum. for an hour. yay my job. this gets pretty amusing though. there are all these old gray haired men working in the department, and i'm finding pictures of all these young, dark, handsome men. and matching up the pictures. so they are each getting pages of them as they age. haha. they'll hate me and i love it. well i mean, not them hating me. just the pictures of them aging. fabulous. bill collins actually looks much more handsome old though. hows about that?

i'm tired, a lot more tired than i should be. i mean, i don't sleep excessive amounts, but i do sleep at least 8 hours per night. its just like this walking around so much and going to school and going to work and doing homework, and always just worrying about what i've got done, what i need to get done, how much money i have, how much money i need, and how i'm going to pay back all the money i already owe people wears me out so fast. even the weekends are always full of plans and so much homework that i always worry too much about. there's never really a rest. and this weekend i've got plans, but i really want to do them, so thats okay, but i think the following weekend i'm going to try just chilling and giving myself lots of time to get work done, and just doing some relaxing and pampering of myself. because really, its only been a week and 3 days. if things keep going at this rate, i will never have a successful semester. i just need to "slow down and enjoy the tea" -(curt banner). so if you can help me relax do so. like any helpful tips on how to not worry and get so stressed out, or how to balance and handle everything better.

i would greatly appreciate any and all input. sign my guestbook through the link, email me at [email protected], or leave a note if you're a diarylander. A bientot.

xo-kt