i am penniless and i don't want to ask my parents for any more money. but i need money, because i have bills and late fees and payments. and no one will give me a job.

i've filled out so many applications. asked back so many times at so many places. done interviews. people are nice. always promising to call in a week or so. but so far that hasn't happened. and so i have to deal with this constant anxiety that comes with my empty wallet. and empty bank account.

i have to register on friday for my classes next fall, and as of right now i really have no idea what i should be taking. i think i want to major in graphic design but i really know nothing about it. today i talked to an academic advisor, but it wasn't very helpful. tomorrow, after class, i'm going to talk to the head of the graphic design department. hopefully by tomorrow evening i will have a grasp of this and be headed in some direction. if i can clear my registration hold by thursday in order to get my priority registration friday. otherwise i will be placed at the lowest priority. meaning i probably won't get into any of my graphic design classes.

and its not like my parents or i have $370 to put down, even for a week or two, until my scholarshare comes through.

i just can't deal with this. on top of this, i have an essay due next week. i still don't have a job. i'm not saving money for our apartment yet because of this. i don't want to spend all of college being desperately poor. i don't think i could handle it.

so now i'm going to go work on homework and hope some good things happen this week, and things work out like i want them to.