and, i missyou kevin. i shouldnt type htat here. in my current state of mind i dont care much. and i really really need to talk to you about a lot of things. and will you just listen to me ? i have a lot to explain. and i should have called you already. but everytime i'm going to i kinda of get this anxiety. and i'm sorry for that. and i'm thinking all thiese things. andi 'd probably type htiem but really i hsould just talk to you first. and you're a great guy. and yeah. i need to say lots of thigns to you before i even tink about saying them to the world. but i missyou and i've been thinking a lot and we need to talk. just give me that please. i do'nt think you'll even read this. or if you do it won't be for a while. but we need to talk.

and myles i'm sorry about everything. and jordan says that he thinks you're more okay now. i'm bad and i get bad ideas somettimes and i think bad things sometimes. and dammit. i'm sorry for being a bad person i nthe times that i am. it relally havppens to mcuh for me to feel okay with sometimes. and realy. i'm sorry.

and emilie. i think you're amazing. your writing, your thoughts. they alwyas impress me som uch. sometimes i want to be just like tyou. live in side yhou and hear your everythought. you're beautiful just hte way you are. don't ever think any diferent.

sara, you're kinda like the girl version of jordand for me. thast kinda wierd.haha. but i like to tlka to you about things. i relaly do. and you make me feel happy and comforted and i love htat. and i can connect with you in this relaly great way. i wish we'd talked more during breka. but we're both busy and its understandalbe. anwaysy i miss you so much. and i love every tiem i get ot see you.

steph, you're an amazing person and i love having fu nwith you. i want you to be happy all hte time cause you're grteant and you try so hard and you desereve to be happy. and sometiems i feel so bad cause i feel like i just fuck htings up that you want all the time. and i'm sorry for that so much. and i love how you worr ya obut everyone and always want to take care of them a.dn i miss you so much. and i look forward to living with yo uand sara nd nichole a lot.

and nichole i miss you mucho too. i haven't talked to you much at all and thats realy sad . cause you always made me laugh so much. and you're so much fun .and you're so dramatic and entertaining. and cuddly. and i love htat. nad you just grea.t oh man. i miss you mucho. and you mande the best chai tea!!! and wow i miss you a lot. you're fun and opinionated. and sometimes i think its too much but its really not at all. cause i could use a lot of you these days and i'm going to see you very very soon at stephs and thats soooo good.

and mike i miss you mucho. cause like the last couple weeks before break we would end up talking alot in my room when kevin fell asleep. and i realy like talking to you soemtimes. you're this great guy and good to talk to. and wow. i really miss that. i mean i think you're as entirely different perosn, hteres lots o people mike and one on one mike. and in boht you're entertaining and eerytihg. but i really like having converstains with you. and i don't know why i haven't calledyou . you' really are a good guy mike.

and oh man. i can't type much anymore. but everyone else. i miss you all. you dont know how much. i need you all back. and i wish i was in chico now. i love you guys. and i need to shut up. and i hope i dont wish i could untuype anything when i read this tomorrow. goodnight.