sooo...

to recap.

it makes me happy to read something nice to hear. even if it wasn't written for me to read.

i had good times with sara and jordan and myles. and i say thank you thank you thank you. you guys are wonderful andit makes me happy that you were here for my birthday number 19.

last night we went out to my friends house and got gifted. it was an interesting nite. good and bad. if you want details ask....but yeah. i'm glad my chicoan friends like my willowinian friends and vice versa. it makes me happy. i still feel really bad. but i'm glad things are worked out better. although i never wanted anything to happen the way it did. meh. i'm sorry. i'm not a good person sometimes. i dont like that about me.

in other news. today we went to a birthday "lunch" in chico. it was nice and i liked it. haha. sometimes i wonder how i got so lucky as to have so many really really great friends. thank you guys so much. i feel blessed. sometimes i wonder why people are still my friends after things i do sometimes. and i think maybe they wonder too. and maybe they geta little tired of me after being around me too much in a short period of time. buti dunno. itd be understandable.

tonight, after myles and jordan and sara left, i spent some time with mi familia. it was good time. me and ali were nerds. but sometimes its good to be a nerd with your sister. especially if it involves snood coaching and doing the calculus dance. hehe.

today was good. and i love everyone who made it good. thats mostly everyone that i talked to and saw and thought of. which is mostly everyone. haha. so thank you for being you.

i'm mostly rambling here. so i'll ramble more.

i like hanging out at brandon's. its comfortable. and everyone there is so nice. although i think lee is like towards me. perhaps irritated. bitter. bah. i dunno. he just kinda made me irritated with what he said today. because he so made that up. grr.

i like hanging out with ian too. andi 'm sad sometimes cause i don't get to so much anymore. and i've been able to the last couple of weeks. its a good thing.

leeann comes home tuesday. thats a good thing too. we need to hang out more before the whole going to school thing starts up again.

i also need to look fora job immediately. this is my last week at holiday. my mom doesn't exactly know that and she will definately not be pleased with my state of unemployment. i wish they'd stop trying to control my every action.

this is enough. i'm just rambling. and i'm feeling thankful that i have good people in my life. you don't know what you mean to me.

tomorrows a new day. and i've been 19 for 2 hours and 12 minutes. and i don't really feel older or wiser. as ian asked me earlier. but thats okay. its just the day i was born after all.

goodnite