and falling again

maybe i should avoid this alone time

i'm just confused about things. and it makes me sad to feel so confused. i'd like to be back with everyone in chico. but i'd like to get away from everything too. to be anywhere else.

i'm so indecisive. i want to be with everyone and with no one all at once. i want to be having fun with friends and spending time by myself.

i need to work on so many things in my life.

next semester i'm going to be better with money and start saving as much as i can. i'm going to get a job in chico and work as much as i can to make money. i'm going to try really hard in all of my classes and try to do really well.

and i'm going to try to not get so hung up on things that aren't so important.

but i still will. and i'll still spend money on things i dont need. and i'll still hang out with everyone instead of studying and write papers in the middle of the night.

because that is me and its so hard to change that. but i will try.

i'm feeling really negative right now about a lot of things.

and i'm ending this. because i have nothing else to say except that i don't know whats going to happen i just wish that it would be a good something for once.