Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"

If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

Work is good, but it's not that important.

i dig generic feel-good advice.

this weekend i'm busy. but you should visit.

xo-kt